This Zombie T-Shirt is Lying

Zombie Food PyramidVertibird pointed out this t-shirt design from threadless.com.  Clearly this is poorly thought out.  It is well established that Zombies don't actually need to eat but just have an instinctual need to bite and infect other humans. Thankfully, Threadless has another zombie shirt that is actually useful and informative.

We know some of the "collectors" out there (We're looking at you, Jules) like to treat their captive zombies as some kind of undead Tamagotchi and feed them on a regular basis.  This is really just a messy waste of time and may lead to distended or even ruptured abdomens.  But, hey, if it makes you happy we aren't here to judge.

 

Comments (15) Add Comment
jules

Oh! I'm putting this up on my wall right now!! My zommie hasn'tbeen getting enough intestines!!! Stubby DOES have a little potbelly!! I think itis cute!!!1 LOL :-)


vertibird

Not having to eat would give zombies god-like power to defy the laws of thermodynamics. I can draw two conclusions from this: Either zombies are a bona-fide miracle, proving the existence of god, in which case we should immediately establish a global theocracy. Or: Zombies are the result of an infinitely superior technology and/or evolutionary path, in which case allow me to be the first to say: "All hail our new zombie overlords".


Xenki43

Something strange is going on with these things but I don't think it is devine. You accept that dead flesh can be reanimated and that zombies can be dismembered and mutilated without killing them but you are hung up on the laws of thermodynamics? I've seen these things crwaling around with everything below their chest missing. They don't have a digestive system anymore but they still keep moving until their brain is pulped.

I think this could be a sign of superior technology gone wrong. Something keeps these things moving but I don't think they are better off. They don't seem very happy to me.


tehbest

First Post!!11!


Schimmy147

How come you don't offer full feeds on this site? I'm very much interested in zombies and zombie-culture but hate having to click through just to read this valuable information.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.


jules

Hi Vertibird! My zommie concerves energy?! Yay zombies! LOL :-)


IYWAZ Support

Hello Mr. Schimmy147,

Thank you for your comment regarding RSS Feeds on ifyouwereazombie.com

We appreciate you taking the time to inform us about your question about RSS Feeds on ifyouwereazombie.com

To access the RSS Feeds on ifyouwereazombie.com we have provided a convenient link on the right side of the web site. We are glad you are enjoying your RSS Feeds on ifyouwereazombie.com and hope that this answers your concern.

We recognize that you have many places to get your zombie news and appreciate your patronage. If you have any other questions about RSS Feeds on ifyouwereazombie.com please don’t hesitate to ask.

Regards,

Rajeesh
Global Support Manager, IYWAZ



Schimmy147

Rajeesh,

Thank you for quick reply. Unfortunately, the RSS feed you provide is a truncated feed and therefore is only allowing me to read the first 50 words or so of every post. Some refer to this as a "Partial Feed." If there is anyway you could offer a full RSS feed it would save me a lot of time.

I'm a particularly busy person and don't have time to click through every day.

Also, is there anyway you could change the font color for comments - I can't read a single thing I'm typing. In fact, difhows k93 foksnodknf os9df!


IYWAZ Support

Hello Mr. Schimmy147,

We're glad we could solve your issue quickly and take pride in the fact that you enjoy our truncated feed. We appreciate your offer to spend your time providing click-throughs but are not accepting any applications at this time.

You may change the font color at any time simply by switching to a non-macintosh operating system.

We do not have any plans to add difhows k93 foksnodknf os9df capability to our website and do not announce future upgrades and features. We are constantly upgrading features and may offer difhows k93 foksnodknf os9df in the future.

We are glad you are enjoying your difhows k93 foksnodknf os9df and hope that this answers your concern.

We recognize that you have many places to get your zombie news and appreciate your patronage. If you have any other questions about difhows k93 foksnodknf os9df please don’t hesitate to ask.

Regards,

Rajeesh
Global Support Manager, IYWAZ


Schimmy147

I think maybe there is some kind of communication problem here. I require two things in order to stay interested in this site: 1) a full RSS feed, not a truncated feed - that means the FULL feed - every single word that you post here about zombies or zombie-related matwrial I want to appear in my RsS reader of choice (for me that would be Google Reader). I do not want a trundatecated feed and I will not be happy with a truncated feed.

2) I want to be able to see the words I am typing in when I make a comment. I have a lot to say about zombies and their effect on our society, but if I can't aicutaly see what 8i is I'm typing then how Cna I be sure tha t what I'm saying is being heard? Does that make snes:?

Also, could make th esecuryt image letter sharder to read as well? I can't tell the difference between some letters and others.

forgive me if there are any typos, I can't see what I'm typing.


IYWAZ Support

Hello Mr. Schimmy147,

Thank you for your comments regarding Full RSS Feeds on ifyouwereazombie.com.

We appreciate you taking the time to inform us about your question about Full RSS Feeds on ifyouwereazombie.com. We understand that you don't have time to read a Full RSS Feed on ifyouwereazombie.com and have taken steps to make ifyouwereazombie.com more useful to you.

You will now notice that we have reduced the size of the RSS feed. It now contains less text than previously. We hope this change will make your RSS Feed download from ifyouwereazombie.com faster and more convenient.

To see the words you are typing when you make a comment, please make sure your monitor is turned on and facing towards you. We hope this solves your problem with seeing the words you are typing.

At this time we do not support the SNES but recommend you contact Nintendo directly to let them know of your interest in ifyouwereazombie.com on your Super Nintendo Entertainment System. We hope this solves your problem with support for the SNES.

We have notified our engineers that we should make our security image harder to read and that you cannot tell the difference between some letters. Please be assured that they are working hard to make sure that you cannot tell the difference between any letters. We hope this solves your problem with not being able to tell the difference between some letters.

We recognize that you have many places to get your zombie news and appreciate your patronage. If you have any other questions about RSS Feeds on ifyouwereazombie.com please don’t hesitate to ask.

Regards,

Rajeesh
Global Support Manager, IYWAZ


Jakob

Better make sure that you're educated about Zombies: http://web.tickle.com/net/caq/...d=13365362


Marge

Support tech: lol thanks for making my day.

Topic: Zombies don't eat? THen why is that one gnawing on my boyfriend's OH MY GOD!!


Cuelex

Global support manager, that was good. I was having the same problem; I couldn’t see what I was typing. But your handy advice (the part where the monitor is facing towards me) fixed that problem. Thankfully we have you to help prepare us for the future zombie apocalypse. But I do need other advice. Like how come every time I pull the trigger on my gun, I shoot myself in the face? I am trying to prepare for the zombies, but I believe when the time comes, I wont be able to stop this if I keep having this problem. That and I am not sure which end to put the nail into on my 2x4 (just in case I run out of ammo for my gun).


See, we are lost without you! The person above me (Marge) couldn’t even tell where her boyfriend was getting gnawed at. Maybe a diagram of where not to get bitten, and where it is almost ok to get bitten (the spot where it would take the longest time before transforming from living to… not so living yet not so dead). I was thinking maybe the toe. If they bite my toe, I could just chop off the rest of it, right? Slow the infection? But, what happens if I find the Mike Tyson zombie and he bites my ear? I cant chop off my ear if its already gone (you know he takes the whole thing off in one chomp, there’s plenty of footage of that).



Hanna

"Vertibird pointed out this t-shirt design from threadless.com. "

- now I can always do the right one here. It's just what we can do and the best.
thanks, mens suits



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