So, you live in Pittsburgh and notice zombies moaning around the neighborhood. Before you start shooting the undead, what should you do? Besides asking, "Why do I live in Pittsburgh?" you should also check your calendar.
Yes, that's right. It's time for another ill-conceived "charity" event glorifying the end of life as we know it. Pittsburgh's Zombie Weekend is scheduled for October 24th - 26.
On Friday, local micro-brew Straub Beer will be sponsoring the Zombie Masquerade Ball at the Churchill Valley Country Club. We can't think of a better way to end a day than sucking down a case of smooth, refreshing Straub. Straub-- it's made from beer!
Festivities continue Saturday and Sunday at the Monroeville Mall, site of the original documentary George Romero film "Day of the Dead".
You all know our stance on zombie dress-up-- violently opposed, by the way-- but sometimes you just need to unload your shotgun, sit back in your zombie-proof bunker and enjoy a few days digging into your supply of jerky and potted meat food product.
Remember the old saying, "if you can't beat them, don't shoot them either because they are probably just the damn neighbors dressed as zombies."
More information is available at http://www.theitsaliveshow.com/ .
There you go-- proving our point exactly. Our lawyers have told us that we should advise you to turn yourself in. Should make a good legal precedent at least. Oh, we also don't recommend going to Canada. See our previous Canada post and comments for an example of what a nightmare that would be.
Thanks for reading!
so you mean those zombies i just killed were... people!? Oh well how far is it to the border again?