Zombies. They're a pain. They're annoying. They aren't going away anytime soon. It's a sad truth-- the epidemic is spreading. Chances are someone you care about will become a zombie.
Tell them how you feel BEFORE they start moaning and shuffling, with our convenient zombie greeting cards. Let them know that if you see their zombified corpse, you'll feel bad when you put a slug through their brainpan.
Because, once they're a zombie, it's too late to say you care... Send a Zombie Card
Say what you will about the current administration's policies but at least we finally have someone looking out for the common man.
Really, I'm just embarassed by the ignorance of this reporter. It's obvious that the vast moderate-media conspiracy has a pro-zombie agenda. First rule of discrediting someone is to pretend they don't make sense.
We sure have come a long way since the US government produced this film during the post-war epidemic. Well, maybe we haven't come that far.
US government policy now is denial and secrecy, but at least they aren't spreading dangerous disinformation anymore. How many people were lost in the 50's because of misguided zombie hiring programs?
Note: This is the first in a continuing series of helpful tips on keeping zombies at home. Please read all warnings and consider your options carefully. Ifyouwereazombie.com does not accept any liability and offers this guide as a public service. As always, it is best to consult a certified professional.
You're a collector aren't you? You've got every action figure still in the box. You had to have that 300th Beanie Baby just to complete the collection. There's no such thing as too many Star Wars toys. You have every issue of TV Guide going back to 1973. You have an obsession to keep things.
Ok. I don't really understand the compulsion, but I can respect your passion. If you can't stand the thought of breaking up your family or group of co-workers by pulping their grey matter, your only real option is to confine the thing. Let's be clear here-- this isn't the person you used to know but if you really can't help yourself I guess we'll have to help you. There are plenty of pitfalls, so pay attention.
Since 1967, Ifyouwereazombie.com has been serving the lucrative online zombie greeting card and personal defense market. Our group of dedicated professionals have created a vertically-oriented, web 2.0, online application web portal site featuring RSS fed, open-source, virus-free, AJAX technology in a blogging, podcast-capable, advertiser platform network that aggregates search and builds community interaction SQL databases while leveraging the power of the internet to connect users who share photos and video content for download in DRM-free proprietary open-formats in a family-friendly massively multiplayer, instant-messaging mobile ecommerce environment.
In addition to having one of the longest URLs on the net, Ifyouwereazombie.com is dedicated to helping you to express yourself and survive the coming catastrophe. Now, even though we're doing our best to pass along survival tips, let's face it-- the zombie plague is spreading and chances are someone you know will be infected.
Wouldn't you like to let your loved ones, family members, friends, coworkers and that hot chick you saw in the produce section know how you feel before they start moaning and shuffling? Once they're a zombie it's too late. They can't understand you and certainly won't be able to read a card. Let them know now because once they're a zombie it's too late to say you care.
Read on to see our Frequently Said Answers to Frequently Asked Questions
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