"Evil Girl" asks:
I am afraid that I might have a friend who has been zombie for the last 9 years at least. How long can a zombie survive if given the proper care? Is 9 years reasonable for someone to survive with no soul and no personality? Love the site, I'm finding it very helpful.
We're glad you're finding the site helpful. You have two questions, first is your friend a zombie. Sometimes it is obvious as in the picture of the zombie to the left. Note the pale, greyish-green, speckled skin tone, vacant, unintelligent stare and unnatural hair color.
Sometimes you have to do some troubleshooting. Continued after the jump
"Don" from
ZombieRunner.com writes:
Just thought I'd say hello. A friend had sent an e-card to me from your site.Appropriate, seeing as the store we run :-)
Ok, "Don". ZombieRunner.com pretends to be a store that sells high-quality merchandise at low, low prices to long distance runners. However their name shows their real purpose-- spread disinformation about the capabilities of zombies.
Don't let them win! Send our zombie tip card to your friends. Help spread awareness and foil "Don's" transparent plans and misleadingly friendly, sideways smiley face. Together we can make it through this. Together, we are strong!
It was another hard day of fighting the undead. Lucky for you we had time to create some more cards while boarding up the windows. We didn't even lose anyone. Well, Billy was bitten, but he's just a designer-- I bet we won't be able to tell the difference.
The first is a heartwarming sentimental card pictured on the left. The second, an important safety tip-- Zombies can't run.
Take a look and send them along
Note: This is the first in a continuing series of helpful tips on keeping zombies at home. Please read all warnings and consider your options carefully. Ifyouwereazombie.com does not accept any liability and offers this guide as a public service. As always, it is best to consult a certified professional.
You're a collector aren't you? You've got every action figure still in the box. You had to have that 300th Beanie Baby just to complete the collection. There's no such thing as too many Star Wars toys. You have every issue of TV Guide going back to 1973. You have an obsession to keep things.
Ok. I don't really understand the compulsion, but I can respect your passion. If you can't stand the thought of breaking up your family or group of co-workers by pulping their grey matter, your only real option is to confine the thing. Let's be clear here-- this isn't the person you used to know but if you really can't help yourself I guess we'll have to help you. There are plenty of pitfalls, so pay attention.
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