Zombies. They're a pain. They're annoying. They aren't going away anytime soon. It's a sad truth-- the epidemic is spreading. Chances are someone you care about will become a zombie.

Tell them how you feel BEFORE they start moaning and shuffling, with our convenient zombie greeting cards. Let them know that if you see their zombified corpse, you'll feel bad when you put a slug through their brainpan.

Because, once they're a zombie, it's too late to say you care... Send a Zombie Card

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Note: This is the first in a continuing series of helpful tips on keeping zombies at home.  Please read all warnings and consider your options carefully.  Ifyouwereazombie.com does not accept any liability and offers this guide as a public service.  As always, it is best to consult a certified professional.

You're a collector aren't you?  You've got every action figure still in the box.  You had to have that 300th Beanie Baby just to complete the collection.  There's no such thing as too many Star Wars toys.  You have every issue of TV Guide going back to 1973.  You have an obsession to keep things.

Ok.  I don't really understand the compulsion, but I can respect your passion.  If you can't stand the thought of breaking up your family or group of co-workers by pulping their grey matter, your only real option is to confine the thing.  Let's be clear here-- this isn't the person you used to know but if you really can't help  yourself I guess we'll have to help you.  There are plenty of pitfalls, so pay attention.