Zombies. They're a pain. They're annoying. They aren't going away anytime soon. It's a sad truth-- the epidemic is spreading. Chances are someone you care about will become a zombie.

Tell them how you feel BEFORE they start moaning and shuffling, with our convenient zombie greeting cards. Let them know that if you see their zombified corpse, you'll feel bad when you put a slug through their brainpan.

Because, once they're a zombie, it's too late to say you care... Send a Zombie Card

Zombie Cards, Zombie News, Zombie Blog

Tag >> Merchandise

Zombie Garden GnomeYou know that old lady down the street?  Yes, the one with garden gnomes, fountains, grecian columns, wagons turned planters and a big-ass, patriotic flag filling her front yard.  Well, nothing is more fun than trying to one-up the neighbors and here's your chance.

British artist Alan Dickinson has created this beautiful stone-ish sculpture of what awaits when the actual Zombie Apocalypse begins.  Design Toscano describes it:

Not for the faint of heart, Dickinson's life-sized, gray-toned zombie will claw his way out of your garden plot or family room corner, pleading for assistance with the most lifelike eyes you've ever seen. His macabre expression is captured in such great detail in quality designer resin and finished so realistically that you'll swear you can hear him breathing!

Couple problems with their description.  "Lifelike eyes", umm shouldn't they be more "Undeadlike eyes"?  And of course we all know that zombies don't actually breathe.  But hey, it's made of "quality designer resin"!  This isn't that resin they use for Wal-Mart zombie gnomes.  This is Designer Resin.

Put it in your front garden close to the sidewalk, set up a lawn chair and watch the festivities.  If someone is selling their house, be sure to put it within sight of their For Sale sign-- your neighbor will appreciate your thoughtfulness at sprucing up their property.  We're sure you'll be the toast of the subdivision as everyone salutes you for your good taste while they rapidly thumb through the Covenents, Conditions and Restrictions. .

Zombie T-ShirtJust a reminder: Father's Day is coming and what Dad doesn't enjoy clothing that does the talking for him?  Why bother communicating verbally when you can just point at your shirt, watch someone's lips silently move, the gears turn in their brain and a smile slowly form on their face.  Today we feature our message t-shirt from the ifyouwereazombie.com store:

Oooh, look!  Stylish!  Everyone knows that shirts with messages on them are impressive.  Anybody can get a regular old t-shirt with a corporate logo or even a boring blank front.  But you... you are special.  You have the discerning intelligence to proudly display your philosophy to the world while tastefully covering your chiseled abs.  Yes, you are the height of fashion.  Tell everyone how you'd feel if they became a zombie.  Do it with a shirt. Buy one for every day of the week!

Buy one for all your Dads! .

For years the only way to buy genuine IYWAZ merchandise was by physically going to our If You Were a Zombie Visitor Center Gift Shop. Now, just in time for Father's Day, you can help support this site by purchasing high-quality merchandise at low, low prices in our online store.  Today we highlight our ceramic mug:

Do you drink liquids or know someone who does?  You do?!  Well, you might be interested in our "I'm glad you're not a zombie" mug!  Each mug conveniently has the message on both the front and the back so everyone can see it.  Hold it with your left hand-- you can read the message.  Hold it with your right hand-- it's still there! Amazing!  Each mug is guaranteed to hold an unspecified amount of beverages and, through the power of thermodynamics, slowly convert that piping hot or chilly treat to your local ambient room-temperature!  Science.  Is there anything it can't do?  

Buy 12 Today! . .

Zombie Food PyramidVertibird pointed out this t-shirt design from threadless.com.  Clearly this is poorly thought out.  It is well established that Zombies don't actually need to eat but just have an instinctual need to bite and infect other humans. Thankfully, Threadless has another zombie shirt that is actually useful and informative.

We know some of the "collectors" out there (We're looking at you, Jules) like to treat their captive zombies as some kind of undead Tamagotchi and feed them on a regular basis.  This is really just a messy waste of time and may lead to distended or even ruptured abdomens.  But, hey, if it makes you happy we aren't here to judge.