Zombies. They're a pain. They're annoying. They aren't going away anytime soon. It's a sad truth-- the epidemic is spreading. Chances are someone you care about will become a zombie.

Tell them how you feel BEFORE they start moaning and shuffling, with our convenient zombie greeting cards. Let them know that if you see their zombified corpse, you'll feel bad when you put a slug through their brainpan.

Because, once they're a zombie, it's too late to say you care... Send a Zombie Card

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Tag >> Video

Think of the United States' best colleges. Harvard, Princeton, College of the Canyons, MIT, Stanford. Wait, what was that middle one? Yes, COC in beautiful Sclarita, California is top of our list for this year's high school graduates. This fine school features concrete, military bunker-ish construction and interior decoration reminiscent of an industrial plant management office. But that's just a fancy bonus. This year, they're offering the class "Zombie Defense 101". Next to typing, we can't think of a more valuable skill. Are you planning to apply? Let us know in the comments.

Nobody on staff at ifyouwerazombie.com is into award shows. The categories often seem random, the presenters' delivery wooden, and the breathless winners reciting thank-you's to people we don't know is boring. However, after seeing this video by the band "hey Negrita" we've decided to offer our first ever Zommie. And the award for "The most creative use of a microphone stand in an animated British country-rock zombie music video" goes to:

Congratulations, guys!

Thanks to zombie enthusiast, "John" for the tip.

Well, what's not to like? .

There it is.  The trailer for the upcoming animated zombie feature, Dear Beautiful from filmmaker Roland Becerra.  The incorrect grammar in the titles isn't encouraging but the guy's an artist, not a dictionary.

Based on the film festival short, the feature version of Dear Beautiful will have the same Max Payne style animation while expanding the story a bit:

The sudden appearance of exotic flowers in New Haven spawns an unprecedented epidemic rumored to be the result of a botched experiment by cosmetics giant, V-Zone. Paul and Lauren, a married couple, are caught between the catastrophe and their own troubled relationship when Lauren encounters one of the flowers and becomes infected. As her symptoms worsen, Paul's denial of Lauren's illness puts the couple in grave danger as the city is overrun with infected people, media frenzy, National Guard, protesters and a panicked populace.

While this doesn't seem to be based upon real events, it wouldn't be the first time that documentaries about zombie outbreaks had to be released as fictional horror movies-- if you have inside info, let us know in the comments.  Just remember cartoon zombies don't kill people, real zombies kill people.  Please use precautions if you decide to keep your zombified loved-ones at home. .

Like WWII movies, zombie films are a dime-a-dozen.  Everyone is so familiar with the real-life history involved that they practically write themselves. 

 Actual WWII footage suffers from grainy, black-and-white film stock so you rarely see actual footage used anymore.  Zombie films deal with a contemporary crisis and have the advantage of thousands of teams of professional news and amateur photographers.

The 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead is one of the few examples of actual zombie footage used in a fictional zombie movie.  

Some have argued that using this real footage so soon after the real-life events was exploitive, but it got the point across even if the rest of the movie contained common fallacies.

Take a look at the (slightly disturbing) clip of the film's compelling opening above.  Even if you don't like the content, you can't argue with the use of Johnny Cash.

Still not conviced the zombie threat is real? Take a gander at this video of U.S. Representative John Haller (R-PA, 12th District) reading a heavily censored version of House bill HR8791-- the Homeland "Terrorism" Preparedness Bill. 

Although he did his best, just substitute the word "Zombie" for "classified" and the real purpose of this bill will shine through.  At least we know the government is providing contingency plans. [via bluesnews]

Click through to see a transcript.

Say what you will about the current administration's policies but at least we finally have someone looking out for the common man.

Really, I'm just embarassed by the ignorance of this reporter.  It's obvious that the vast moderate-media conspiracy has a pro-zombie agenda.  First rule of discrediting someone is to pretend they don't make sense.

Wake up America!

We sure have come a long way since the US government produced this film during the post-war epidemic.  Well, maybe we haven't come that far. 

US government policy now is denial and secrecy, but at least they aren't spreading dangerous disinformation anymore.  How many people were lost in the 50's because of misguided zombie hiring programs?