If You Were a Zombie

Zombie Children-- Big Fans of Turtles

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:00:00 +0100

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Well, what's not to like? .

Zombie Medusa Mashup Totally Not Against Your CC&Rs

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 06:00:00 +0100

You know that old lady down the street? Yes, the one with garden gnomes, fountains, grecian columns, wagons turned planters and a big-ass, patriotic flag filling her front yard. Well, nothing is more fun than trying to one-up the neighbors and here's your chance.

British artist Alan Dickinson has created th [...]

Zombie Art or Zombie Artpocalypse?

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 06:00:00 +0100

{vimeo}1292526{/vimeo}There it is. The trailer for the upcoming animated zombie feature, Dear Beautiful from filmmaker Roland Becerra. The incorrect grammar in the titles isn't encouraging but the guy's an artist, not a dictionary.

Based on the film festival short, the feature version of Dear Beautiful will have the same Max Payne style animation while expanding the story a bit:

The sudden appearance of exotic flowers in New Haven spawns an unprecedented [...]

Zombie Caterpillars Conclusively Continue Care for Cocooned Killers

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 06:00:00 +0100

Remember those Alien movies? The Alien would lay it's eggs in the warm, nourishing belly of unsuspecting humans where they would hatch, eat their way out and chase Sigourney Weaver through progressively worse screenplays. You probably already know that this behavior (the egg-laying, not the Sigourney-chasing) was inspired by a real-life breed of w [...]

Zombie Consumerism-- Can You Believe This Shirt?

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Thu, 29 May 2008 06:00:00 +0100

Just a reminder: Father's Day is coming and what Dad doesn't enjoy clothing that does the talking for him? Why bother communicating verbally when you can just point at your shirt, watch someone's lips silently move, the gears turn in their brain and a smile slowly form on their face. Today we feature our message t- [...]

New Zombie Card-- Helpful Tip and Friendly Encouragement

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Wed, 28 May 2008 06:00:00 +0100

Hypothetical: You've just had a fight with your girlfriend and want to send her a card to brighten her day. Should it be informative, life-saving advice or should it provide nurturing encouragement to help patch up your relationship? Why not send one card that does both?

< [...]

We Get Letters... Zombies, Hate, and World Peace

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Tue, 27 May 2008 06:00:00 +0100

Reader N8 writes:

well im not clever enough to actually make the cards but i think you are missing out on a hugh part of the Zombie card industry, you havent included any "im glad your a zombie" cards. like "i would be happy to kill you" or " i cant wait to run a spike threw your heart& [...]

Zombie Consumerism-- we got mugged

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Mon, 26 May 2008 06:00:00 +0100

For years the only way to buy genuine IYWAZ merchandise was by physically going to our If You Were a Zombie Visitor Center Gift Shop. Now, just in time for Father's Day, you can help support this site by purchasing high-quality merchandise at low, low prices in our online store. Today we highlight our ceramic mug:

Do you drink liquids or know someone who does? [...]

New Zombie Card, Happy Zombirth Day!

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Fri, 23 May 2008 06:00:00 +0100

There's been some chit and chat as well as spirited arguments around the water cooler in the spacious IYWAZ tower today. It all revolved around one question: Do zombies have birthdays? Or more importantly, should we celebrate and should there be cake?

See, Phyllis from Accounting stumbled into our zombie holding pit yest [...]

Human Pressure Cooker Prevents Zombie Transmogrification

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Mon, 12 May 2008 06:00:00 +0100

Have you had lunch yet? No? Well, finish up that bowl of chili and that chocolate milkshake before continuing. Those wacky scientists at BioSafe Engineering have come up with a fool-proof way to prevent the recently dead from becomi [...]

New Zombie Card, Your Mom Would Be Ashamed

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Fri, 09 May 2008 06:00:00 +0100

Let's face it, you suck. No really. Your mom took care of you and raised you into the fine, strapping, well-adjusted, zombie-hunting person you are today. But, on Mother's Day all you did was send her was an ecard from a crappy web site [...]

New Card, Zombie Lincoln Officially Endorsed

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Tue, 06 May 2008 06:00:00 +0100

You've been asking us. You've been begging us. Well, finally Ifyouwereazombie.com is willing to go out on a limb and endorse a candidate for this year's presidential election. We know, you're surprised. Given our general approval of zombie eradication&nbs [...]

Zombies Glorified, Lala Makes It All Better

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Thu, 01 May 2008 06:00:00 +0100

They're at it again and it makes our blood boil. As if impending doom from the undead wasn't bad enough, the TV show "It's Alive" from Pittsburg, PA seem to think celebrating the occasion is a good idea.

Organizer Mark Menold says, "I like it when 10 people show up somewhere and just shamble around for no reason". Su [...]

We Get Letters... Zombie Praise and Inadequacy

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 06:00:00 +0100

Reader Tishia writes, "All I can say is, "It's about friggin' time! The site is well designed, clever, funny as hell, and has great content! Overall, well organized! But... The ECards!! There needs to be more!"

Well, what can we say. We're blushing from praise while we beat ourselves up in a mildly distur [...]

Zombie Defense-- The Ultimate Porch

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:03:04 +0100

{youtube}HM65n2DEASM{/youtube}If you are looking for a place to ride out the coming zombie apocalypse/ global swarming epidemic what could be better than scenic Caminito del Rey in Malaga, Spain. The path was built in 1901 for workers to transport materials in the construction of a dam but has since fallen into a state of disrepair that makes a perfect place to hide from both the undead and collection agencies. Just try to watch this video without feeling a touch of "High Anxiet [...]

Zombies, Mad Cows and You

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 00:12:15 +0100

Oh, that cow is pissed! Do you know why? No, it isn't because he knows how tasty he would be fried up between two pieces of bread. He's just learned that he's likely to get all zombie-like.

A new varient of bovine spongiform encephalitis (mad cow disease) is related to a disease in humans called Variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease.&n [...]

New Zombie Card, Useless Sympathy

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 23:46:26 +0100

Do you know someone infected with the zombie virus? There's no cure and they only have hours left. At least you can give them false hope while they spend their last minutes checking their email. While you're at it, why don't you suggest they buy something from the Amazon links to the right. Those poor [...]

Zombie Easter Bunny Card Added

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:33:56 +0100

Wow, who knew that so many people needed a zombie Easter card? For those who harbor fears of undead lagomorpha that distribute chicken embryos while feasting on the occasional brain... well this card is for both of you.

Cat Lovers, Prime Zombie Candidates

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 01:14:36 +0100

If you own a cat could you raise your hand? That many? Ok, could all of you just look at the cute kitty picture on the left for a minute? Thanks. We'll let you know when you can come back. Are they all gone? Great.

We need to make some plans because it turns out that cats carry a parasite called Toxop [...]

Archaeology Magazine Details Zombie Attack in Ancient Egypt

comments@ifyouwereazombie.com — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 14:46:30 +0100

Prestigious Archaeology Magazine has posted research detailing evidence of a zombie outbreak in ancient Egypt near Hierakonpolis approximately 5000 years ago. Yes, Archaeology Magazine! Remember their biting expose when the statue of Hadrian was unearthed at Sagalassos? When we think of [...]