What to do? Read our blog.

 Holy cow! The dead are walking around! What should you do? How do you destroy a zombie? Does garlic work? How about a cross? We’ve gathered the foremost experts in undead combat to help you survive the gathering horde. Read our tips now, because later might be... ummm... too late. Read

 
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Ifyouwereazombie.com would not exist without our loyal readers. If you are also concerned about Global Swarming, have news, or just have a question about zombies we can answer in the blog, let us know at comments@ifyouwereazombie.com.

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Face Reality, Send a Card

 Zombies. They’re a pain. They’re annoying. They aren’t going away anytime soon. It’s a sad truth-- the epidemic is spreading. Chances are someone you care about will become a zombie.

Tell them how you feel BEFORE they start moaning and shuffling, with our convenient greeting cards. Let them know that if you see their zombified corpse, you’ll feel bad when you put a slug through their brainpan.

Because, once they’re a zombie, it’s too late to say you care... Send a Card

 

We get letters... How to care for and recognize a zombie

Tips, Letters, Help, FAQ

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"Evil Girl" asks:

I am afraid that I might have a friend who has been zombie for the last 9 years at least. How long can a zombie survive if given the proper care? Is 9 years reasonable for someone to survive with no soul and no personality? Love the site, I'm finding it very helpful.

We're glad you're finding the site helpful.  You have two questions, first is your friend a zombie.  Sometimes it is obvious as in the picture of the zombie to the left.  Note the pale, greyish-green, speckled skin tone, vacant, unintelligent stare and unnatural hair color. 

Sometimes you have to do some troubleshooting.  Continued after the jump

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Frequently Asked Questions

FAQ

In addition to having one of the longest URLs on the net, Ifyouwereazombie.com is dedicated to helping you to express yourself and survive the coming catastrophe.  Now, even though we're doing our best to pass along survival tips, let's face it-- the zombie plague is spreading and chances are someone you know will be infected. 

Wouldn't you like to let your loved ones, family members, friends, coworkers and that hot chick you saw in the produce section know how you feel before they start moaning and shuffling?  Once they're a zombie it's too late.  They can't understand you and certainly won't be able to read a card.  Let them know now because once they're a zombie it's too late to say you care. 

Read on to see our Frequently Said Answers to Frequently Asked Questions

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