Reader N8 writes:
well im not clever enough to actually make the cards but i think you are missing out on a hugh part of the Zombie card industry, you havent included any "im glad your a zombie" cards. like "i would be happy to kill you" or " i cant wait to run a spike threw your heart" im thinking a whole line of cards to send to your Ex-wife.
This reminds me of something Mom used to say, "If you can't say anything nice, for God's sake don't write it down and leave a paper trail that THEY can follow." Leaving aside Mom's troubles with "The Man", our market-research has determined that people don't want more hateful web sites and are looking for ways to spread joy and understanding.
Just think if our world leaders used IfYouWereAZombie.com to send along a little note to each other. (We have noticed an increase in cards being sent from the whitehouse.gov domain recently, so we have our fingers crossed) Our cards will continue to be helpful, optimistic and cheerful to help you maintain productive relationships while fighting the zombie scourge. Besides, if your ex becomes a zombie, you've already won. And one thing we've learned, N8, winning is important. Thanks for reading.
Reader Tishia writes,
"All I can say is, "It's about friggin' time! The site is well designed, clever, funny as hell, and has great content! Overall, well organized! But... The ECards!! There needs to be more!"
Well, what can we say. We're blushing from praise while we beat ourselves up in a mildly disturbing reenactment of scenes from Fight Club. Here's the problem: all of us at IYWAZ spend our days digging entrenchments, building barricades and shopping for armageddon-size 30 gallon jugs of mustard from Costco. Once all this grunt work is done there's little time left to create new cards.
So, we need your help. If you have a clever idea or, even better, some Photoshop chops
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. If we like them, we'll put them up along with a credit/link to your site. If we don't like them we'll either taunt you mercilessly or even worse, ignore you completely. Either way, it's a win for us.
Here are some guidelines:
- Cards must be 500 pixels by 348 pixels
- If your card meets our high standards (and if we bother to check the mail) your card will be proudly displayed and available for others to send.
- Keep in mind the tone we want. Cards should be sappy and earnest or informative. We want to help people get through this crisis and make them feel better about their impending doom.
- You won't recieve any compensation other than our sincere thanks, the satisfaction of a job well done, and the inclusion of your name and web site URL on the card.
- You must have the legal right to distribute any artwork in the card in ecard format. Please note that most stock illustrations and photo agreements prohibit distribution in ecard format.
- By submitting a card you acknowledge that you have given ifyouwereazombie.com the right to use the image on the website, in promotional materials and other mediums as we see fit. (We aren't total jerks though. If we use your card to create merchandise you will be compensated in a manner that ifyouwerazombie.com determines is fair. That means if we make any profit on your work, you'll get some type of compensation. Honestly though, only about 20 people will ever see this site so don't start buying materials for that zombie-proof bunker just yet...)
We get plenty of comments from you, our readers, but now we're just blushing at the ovewhelmingly positive communication.
To celebrate we recently treated our entire support staff to cake (with milk!). As you can see in the photo of the joyous occasion to the left, the cake was shaped like a little village under attack from gummy zombies. We think you can see from their expressions that the entire staff was having a great time!
Some of the highlights:
Recently, reader Schimmy147 commented on the usefulness of our RSS Feeds and commenting system and had a very rewarding online conversation with our support staff:
"I'm very much interested in zombies and zombie-culture... click through just to read this valuable information" and "I think... I... stay interested in... every single word you post here about zombies..."
Zombie enthusiast and religous advocate
Vertibird says:
"All hail our new zombie overlords"
Metallurgist and archaeologist
Ismellofelderberries wrote:
"You've got a great design..."
Jules raves:
"Adorable! :-)"
And of course we've recieved thousands of emails from our newsletter recipients asking for more information about "unsubscribing". We've heard you! We'll soon be sending out a daily newsletter dealing with just this topic! Thanks again! Now, who wants a piece of cake?
"Evil Girl" asks:
I am afraid that I might have a friend who has been zombie for the last 9 years at least. How long can a zombie survive if given the proper care? Is 9 years reasonable for someone to survive with no soul and no personality? Love the site, I'm finding it very helpful.
We're glad you're finding the site helpful. You have two questions, first is your friend a zombie. Sometimes it is obvious as in the picture of the zombie to the left. Note the pale, greyish-green, speckled skin tone, vacant, unintelligent stare and unnatural hair color.
Sometimes you have to do some troubleshooting. Continued after the jump
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