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 Holy cow! The dead are walking around! What should you do? How do you destroy a zombie? Does garlic work? How about a cross? We’ve gathered the foremost experts in undead combat to help you survive the gathering horde. Read our tips now, because later might be... ummm... too late. Read

 
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Ifyouwereazombie.com would not exist without our loyal readers. If you are also concerned about Global Swarming, have news, or just have a question about zombies we can answer in the blog, let us know at comments@ifyouwereazombie.com.

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Tag >> Opinion

Face Reality, Send a Card

 Zombies. They’re a pain. They’re annoying. They aren’t going away anytime soon. It’s a sad truth-- the epidemic is spreading. Chances are someone you care about will become a zombie.

Tell them how you feel BEFORE they start moaning and shuffling, with our convenient greeting cards. Let them know that if you see their zombified corpse, you’ll feel bad when you put a slug through their brainpan.

Because, once they’re a zombie, it’s too late to say you care... Send a Card

 

Zombie Children-- Big Fans of Turtles

Video, Opinion

Well, what's not to like?

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We Get Letters... Zombies, Hate, and World Peace

Opinion, Letters, Cards

 Reader N8 writes:

well im not clever enough to actually make the cards but i think you are missing out on a hugh part of the Zombie card industry, you havent included any "im glad your a zombie" cards.   like "i would be happy to kill you"    or   " i cant wait to run a spike threw your heart"     im thinking a whole line of cards to send to your Ex-wife.  

This reminds me of something Mom used to say, "If you can't say anything nice, for God's sake don't write it down and leave a paper trail that THEY can follow."  Leaving aside Mom's troubles with "The Man", our market-research has determined that people don't want more hateful web sites and are looking for ways to spread joy and understanding. 

Just think if our world leaders used IfYouWereAZombie.com to send along a little note to each other.  (We have noticed an increase in cards being sent from the whitehouse.gov domain recently, so we have our fingers crossed) Our cards will continue to  be helpful, optimistic  and cheerful to help you maintain productive relationships while fighting the zombie scourge.  Besides, if your ex becomes a zombie, you've already won.  And one thing we've learned, N8, winning is important.  Thanks for reading.

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The Zombie Equation-- Films don't add up

Tips, Opinion

The Zombie Equation

Zombies are a retarded version of the Terminator.  That is what makes them interesting.  It makes zombies an intellectual exercise in survival against the elements.

None of the team here in the spacious IYWAZ tower is a big fan of zombie movies or excessive gore.  Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate some gore if the story warrants it-for example; Robocop needed the excessive blood to set the tone for the over-the-top, comic-book nature of the film.  Saving Private Ryan wouldn't have been as engaging if the first scene featured a GI storming the beach, randomly clutching his chest and lying on his back with his feet in the air.

Continued after the jump 



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