If you are looking for a place to ride out the coming zombie apocalypse/ global swarming epidemic what could be better than scenic Caminito del Rey in Malaga, Spain. The path was built in 1901 for workers to transport materials in the construction of a dam but has since fallen into a state of disrepair that makes a perfect place to hide from both the undead and collection agencies. Just try to watch this video without feeling a touch of "High Anxiety".
Oh, that cow is pissed! Do you know why? No, it isn't because he knows how tasty he would be fried up between two pieces of bread. He's just learned that he's likely to get all zombie-like.
A new varient of bovine spongiform encephalitis (mad cow disease) is related to a disease in humans called Variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. Take a look at some of the human symptoms and let me know if they look familiar:
- Changes in Gait (walking)
- Lack of coordination
- Muscle twitching and stiffness
- Profound confusion and disorientation
- Rapid delirium or dementia
- Speech impairment
Did you figure it out? No? Have you looked at the name of the site? Yes... that's right... zombies. Good job. Do you have the rest of the symptoms or just the confusion one?
Infections have been reported in those who have recieved corneal transplants or growth hormone from infected cadavers. It isn't yet clear whether an infected cow can pass this on to humans by being so damn delicious, but keep an eye on the people stumbling out of the local burger joint.
If you own a cat could you raise your hand? That many? Ok, could all of you just look at the cute kitty picture on the left for a minute? Thanks. We'll let you know when you can come back. Are they all gone? Great.
We need to make some plans because it turns out that cats carry a parasite called Toxoplasma gondii that just might cause a mild form of zombism in humans.
Normally a rat will avoid feline smells. However once it has been infected the rat foolishly seeks out cat odors thus allowing an easy, if messy, way for Toxoplasma gondii to travel back into its preferred pussy breeding ground.
It doesn't stop with cats though. Some scientists have found that this same parasite infects human cat owners and may actually change the personality of the human hosts. Men become jealous and suspicious, women more outgoing and warm. Doctors already warn pregnant women to forgo changing the kitty-litter because of a suspected link between Toxoplasma and schizophrenia in children.
Remember all those people who had their hands raised. When the zombie attacks start make sure you tell your cat hair covered neighbors that they're on their own.
Hey, cat people. You can come back now. We were just talking about how much we like you and your cats. Yes. Animals that poop in the house are adorable. Really.
Vertibird pointed out this t-shirt design from threadless.com. Clearly this is poorly thought out. It is well established that Zombies don't actually need to eat but just have an instinctual need to bite and infect other humans. Thankfully, Threadless has another zombie shirt that is actually useful and informative.
We know some of the "collectors" out there (We're looking at you, Jules) like to treat their captive zombies as some kind of undead Tamagotchi and feed them on a regular basis. This is really just a messy waste of time and may lead to distended or even ruptured abdomens. But, hey, if it makes you happy we aren't here to judge.
Zombies are a retarded version of the Terminator. That is what makes them interesting. It makes zombies an intellectual exercise in survival against the elements.
None of the team here in the spacious IYWAZ tower is a big fan of zombie movies or excessive gore. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate some gore if the story warrants it-for example; Robocop needed the excessive blood to set the tone for the over-the-top, comic-book nature of the film. Saving Private Ryan wouldn't have been as engaging if the first scene featured a GI storming the beach, randomly clutching his chest and lying on his back with his feet in the air.
Continued after the jump
"Evil Girl" asks:
I am afraid that I might have a friend who has been zombie for the last 9 years at least. How long can a zombie survive if given the proper care? Is 9 years reasonable for someone to survive with no soul and no personality? Love the site, I'm finding it very helpful.
We're glad you're finding the site helpful. You have two questions, first is your friend a zombie. Sometimes it is obvious as in the picture of the zombie to the left. Note the pale, greyish-green, speckled skin tone, vacant, unintelligent stare and unnatural hair color.
Sometimes you have to do some troubleshooting. Continued after the jump
"Don" from
ZombieRunner.com writes:
Just thought I'd say hello. A friend had sent an e-card to me from your site.
Appropriate, seeing as the store we run :-)
Ok, "Don". ZombieRunner.com pretends to be a store that sells high-quality merchandise at low, low prices to long distance runners. However their name shows their real purpose-- spread disinformation about the capabilities of zombies.
Don't let them win! Send our zombie tip card to your friends. Help spread awareness and foil "Don's" transparent plans and misleadingly friendly, sideways smiley face. Together we can make it through this. Together, we are strong!
It was another hard day of fighting the undead. Lucky for you we had time to create some more cards while boarding up the windows. We didn't even lose anyone. Well, Billy was bitten, but he's just a designer-- I bet we won't be able to tell the difference.
The first is a heartwarming sentimental card pictured on the left. The second, an important safety tip-- Zombies can't run.
Take a look and send them along
Note: This is the first in a continuing series of helpful tips on keeping zombies at home. Please read all warnings and consider your options carefully. Ifyouwereazombie.com does not accept any liability and offers this guide as a public service. As always, it is best to consult a certified professional.
You're a collector aren't you? You've got every action figure still in the box. You had to have that 300th Beanie Baby just to complete the collection. There's no such thing as too many Star Wars toys. You have every issue of TV Guide going back to 1973. You have an obsession to keep things.
Ok. I don't really understand the compulsion, but I can respect your passion. If you can't stand the thought of breaking up your family or group of co-workers by pulping their grey matter, your only real option is to confine the thing. Let's be clear here-- this isn't the person you used to know but if you really can't help yourself I guess we'll have to help you. There are plenty of pitfalls, so pay attention.
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