Although he did his best, just substitute the word "Zombie" for "classified" and the real purpose of this bill will shine through. At least we know the government is providing contingency plans. [via bluesnews]
Click through to see a transcript.
Transcript:
Congress shall now vote for approval of HR 8791 Homeland Terrorism Preparedness bill, err, said bill requests emergency response funding up to and including, I'm sorry this section is CLASSIFIED er, dollars to prepare for national level terrorist attack and or attack from CLASSIFIED.
Funding for first responding personnel and vehicles would be doubled if said attack leads to more than 80% of national population being affected by CLASSIFIED.
This funding shall commence in conjunction with the first attack on erm, CLASSIFIED or the first large scale outbreak of CLASSIFIED depending upon which comes first.
Civilian and military units shall be trained in containment and combat of CLASSIFIED including irradiated CLASSIFIED with possibility of CLASSIFIED airborne CLASSIFIED flesh-eating CLASSIFIED and/or all of the above in such event as CLASSIFIED viewing CLASSIFIED escape are released or otherwise become uncontrollable.
Air Force units my also be directed to combat said CLASSIFIED due to their enormous size and other-worldly strengths, should event occur in urban areas, Jesus, thats CLASSIFIED, far surpassing our darkest nightmares should casualties exceed CLASSIFIED body disposal actions shall be halted and associated resources shall be re-allocated to CLASSIFIED underground CLASSIFIED protected birthing centers er... New Bill of Rights shall be drafted and approved by CLASSIFIED.
Having now reviewed the bill I ask you to now please cast your votes.
Im not trying to make trouble, but why shouldn't we consider them a threat? They do have a pretty crazy taste for brains. And in the future they may develop angst against the US, just sayin'.
I wrote to him to let him know i don't lilke where this is going!! They arn't a threat!!! i showed this video to stubby and i don't think he liked it!!!! We should all let him know what we thing!! LOL! :-)
Yep, those peace loving zombies. No threat at all. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Moving to Canada won't help if we have a zombie infestation.
Why are we worrying about this? If this were important, we'd hear about it on TV. What's important is Ellen has given away her dogs. You have to keep focus, folks.
fs23d do you realy believe that important things will be on TV? Wake up!!! Peace
The zombies are a threat, haven't you seen Dawn Of The Dead. You're all idiots
Sure, "Jess". Are you part of a deliberate government disinformation campaign? Are you denying the zombie threat? I suppose you missed the following hearing on "America's Wild Goats-- a Disappearing Nuisance"? Are you denying our wild goat problem also?
@Jess,
Thanks for pointing that out. EVERYONE else who watched the video TOTALLY missed that they were watching *Onion Span*. THANKS GOD, people like you are around to help out all the dumb people :-). Play along. Its more fun. AAAAAAAA ZOMBIES ARE COMING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
watch 28 weeks later that explains alot....you will be surprised if you listen to this then watch 28 weeks later
If they were threatening a REAL zombie emergency, and we had America's full support, they would easily be overpowered. Either way that's a HUGE, as in GIGANTIC, OBESE, GARGANTUAN, 'if'. Are you willing to spend, what is it now?, around 500 billion dollars? trying to prevent something that unlikely, and even less likely to harm us?
Oh, and EVERY zombie is a threat, should we go to war with every zombie to prevent them from developing angst against us in the future?