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 Holy cow! The dead are walking around! What should you do? How do you destroy a zombie? Does garlic work? How about a cross? We’ve gathered the foremost experts in undead combat to help you survive the gathering horde. Read our tips now, because later might be... ummm... too late. Read

 
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Ifyouwereazombie.com would not exist without our loyal readers. If you are also concerned about Global Swarming, have news, or just have a question about zombies we can answer in the blog, let us know at comments@ifyouwereazombie.com.

We welcome all ideas, suggestions, and cool, hard cash. Let us know what you think.


If You Were a Zombie Store


Why bother telling people how you feel when you can just point to your shirt or coffee mug. For years the only way to buy genuine IYWAZ merchandise was by physically going to our Visitor Center. Now, you can help support this site by purchasing high-quality merchandise at low, low prices in our online store.
Shirts
Oooh, look!  Stylish!  Everyone knows that shirts with messages on them are impressive.  Anybody can get a regular old t-shirt with a corporate logo or even a boring blank front.  But you... you are special.  You have the discerning intelligence to proudly display your philosophy to the world while tastefully covering your chiseled abs.  Yes, you are the height of fashion.  Tell everyone how you'd feel if they became a zombie.  Do it with a shirt. Buy one for every day of the week! 
 
$23.99
 
Houseware
Do you drink liquids or know someone who does?  You do?!  Well, you might be interested in our "I'm glad you're not a zombie" mug!  Each mug conveniently has the message on both the front and the back so everyone can see it.  Hold it with your left hand-- you can read the message.  Hold it with your right hand-- it's still there! Amazing!  Each mug is guaranteed to hold an unspecified amount of beverages and, through the power of thermodynamics, slowly convert that piping hot or chilly treat to your local ambient room-temperature!  Science.  Is there anything it can't do? 
$15.99
 
Greeting Cards

Web pages and email-- what a mess!  Now you can send a card without getting electrons everywhere by buying this handy 10-pack of greeting cards.  These cards are printed on dead trees, loaded on a gas-burning plane or zeppelin and hand-delivered by people guaranteed not to be zombies. 

 The front of the card features a full-color illustration with the messaage "If you were a zombie and I had to kill you..."  (the ellipsis adds suspense!)  Inside is the text "I'd feel sad."  You don't even have to write anything else!  Just scrawl your name and bask in the glow of a job well done.

$19.99
 
Yes, that's right!  We have a second greeting card!  This package of 10 cards features a full-color illustration on the front with the message, "I'm glad you're not a zombie".  The inside is totally blank.  Think of the possibilities!  You can write whatever you want!  You could draw a picture, let's say a cute little cartoon dog.  Not only that, you'd still have more room to draw that same dog AGAIN!  Wow!  I'm going to buy a package right now!
$14.99